Wednesday, April 08, 2015

10 Years After: 2011 -- Palin, Egg, Sausage and Palin

The 10th blogiversary fundraiser continues with 2011:  Trench Warfare.

In 2008, John McCain tampered with the fundamental laws of crazy.

And from then on, we all got to pay for it.

Palin, Egg, Sausage and Palin

talk to the hand
Obsessive amateur Palinologist and World's Greatest Blogger, Andrew Sullivan, advanced his campaign to claw his way to the front of the "Can You Fucking Believe Sarah Palin?" parade by burying his site -- over the course of a few, short hours -- under a veritable mudslide of breathless, virtually-minute-by-minute Cootie Catcher Palin-bulletins gleaned from raking through the moose entrails of everyone else's obsessive Palin reportage and Noting!With!Alarm signs and portents that everyone else noticed long, long ago.

Of course, Mr. Sullivan isn't the only one -- just the most ridiculous. In fact, the whole Elite Media Universe has completely given in to their crack-laced-Fluffernutter American Idler addiction.

And it sounds a lot like this.

Tiny, irrelevant blogger: But I don't like Palin!

Andrew Sullivan: Silly, irrelevant blogger, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your Palin. I love it! I'm having Palin







debt limit



Palin and Palin!

Cable News: Palin Palin Palin Palin. Lovely Palin! Wonderful Palin!

Mainstream Media: Shut up!! Debt limits are off.

Andrew Sullivan: Well could I have Palin instead of debt limits?

Mainstream Media: You mean Palin Palin Palin Palin Palin Palin Palin ...

Cable News (singing elaborately): Palin Palin Palin Palin. Lovely Palin! Wonderful Palin! Palin Pa-a-a-a-a-lin Palin Pa-a-a-a-a-lin.
Lovely Palin!
Lovely Palin!
Lovely Palin!
Lovely Palin!

Lovely Palin! Palin Palin Palin Palin!...


It appears that no one in our Elite Media understands what grifters do.

So allow me to explain.

Grifters are one of society’s opportunistic human viruses, striking when and where they find weakness and a failed immune system.

Or in this case, a failed media.

Grifters are alley rats, perpetually scratching and scuffling around the dumpsters, looking for a way in. Once in, they feed for as long as the free eats hold out, then move on to the next likely target.

Sometimes the “dumpster” is some guy’s wallet.
Sometimes it’s a reality teevee show and a contract with Fox News.
And sometimes it’s a presidential campaign.

The primary focus of the grifter is always the same: create maximum confusion and bafflement and then, in the ensuing chaos, sop up the gravy with a biscuit as fast as they can before the false front they have created collapses and they have to scurry on to the next dumpster. It is for this reason that grifters cannot bear the slightest scrutiny, because whatever tricks or protective coloration they adopt are mere style-points in service of that goal.

Because in the end, opportunistic viruses really don’t have foreign policies.

And dumpster rats can’t do math.

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