Begins with a single derp.
In the end, it took The Mustache of Understanding about 20 bloody Friedman Units to get from Suck On This:
...In case you were wondering what the rest of Mr. Friedman's column contains (and why would you?) about 50 percent of it is a long Copy/Paste excerpt from "The Dark Knight".
And be humble. We don’t have the wisdom, resources or staying power to do anything more than contain these organisms, until the natural antibodies from within emerge.
I'm not kidding:
Bruce Wayne: “Criminals aren’t complicated, Alfred. Just have to figure out what he’s after.”
Alfred Pennyworth: “With respect, Master Wayne, perhaps this is a man that you don’t fully understand, either. A long time ago, I was in Burma. My friends and I were working for the local government. They were trying to buy the loyalty of tribal leaders by bribing them with precious stones. But their caravans were being raided in a forest north of Rangoon by a bandit. So we went looking for the stones. But, in six months, we never met anybody who traded with him. One day, I saw a child playing with a ruby the size of a tangerine. The bandit had been throwing them away.”
And most of the rest is a laundry list of how the world would be if'n Tommy boy could just wish-wish-wish away a thousand years of history and a million years of human nature.
And yes, he does get paid to do this.
Twice a week,
For the most prestigious newspaper in America.