Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Even the Police Began to Sit Up and Take Notice, Ctd -- UPDATE

You can take boy out of the Conservative Dungheap (from The Daily Beast):
The Gay Conservative Quitting the GOP Over ‘Bigotry’ 
Jimmy LaSalvia formed GOProud because the Log Cabin Republicans were too liberal for him, but now he’s quitting the Republican Party altogether because he says it tolerates bigotry. 
Eventually even Sisyphus gets tired.

Jimmy LaSalvia is a lifelong conservative activist. He likes low taxes and limited government and refers to the political party that disagrees with these views as the “Democrat” Party. He’s also gay and for years has been leading the fight for a place in the Republican Party for fellow gay conservatives; LaSalvia even started an advocacy group called GOProud when he found the Log Cabin Republicans to be far too liberal...

In an interview with The Daily Beast, LaSalvia explained why he left the GOP. “I came to the realization that the leadership of the Republican Party just doesn’t share my principles and my values” said the conservative activist.
But you just can't take the Conservative Dungheap out of the boy...
The left wing of Democrat Party simply doesn’t live in reality
And so, the inevitable punchline...
“So, now I feel huge sense of freedom. I am an independent conservative. (That sounds much better than ‘gay Republican.’)”
And a Little Centrist shall lead them.

So Republican Jimmy LaSalvia finally noticed in the Year of our Lord 2014 that the Republican Party is built on hating people like Jimmy LaSalvia.

Well good for him!  Maybe in another 20 or 30 years he'll start to notice that the GOP has also been as fanatically opposed to competent government and fiscal sanity for at least as long as it has been dedicated to hating minorities, women, poor people, the elderly, children and Liberals and gay persons like Jimmy LaSalvia.

And that is what makes this such a remarkable story -- its sad, predictable unremarkableness.

Unremarkable because after letting the likes of Rush Limbaugh take a free dump in their skulls for 25 years, you damn well know Rush Limbaugh owns these meatsticks. Owns their vocabulary. Owns their ideological wiring. Owns their souls. And so while I am absolutely sure Mr. LaSalvia will go from making a fine living as a Gay Republican Dancing Monkey to making a fine living as a Gay Centrist Dancing Monkey, he will never get his soul back. Which is why, however hilarious or infuriating you might find stories like these, it's long past time to give up any pretense that these people are salvageable as citizens.

Because just like your Crazy Uncle Liberty (who hates people like Jimmy LaSalvia so hard it makes his tummy hurt), Jimmy LaSalvia is now in so deep -- is now so far gone -- that really has no place left to go. After all, like most Conservatives, if he were ever actually whacked up on a few thousand ccs of pentathol The Undisputed Truth and compelled to turn and face the sheer fucking magnitude of his own self-loathing and all thousand facets of his delusion and hypocrisy and general failure as human being, how could he live with himself?

What course would be left to him but to defenestrate himself from the nearest tall building?

And so, like millions before him, Jimmy LaSalvia dives head-first into the latest iteration of the Fabulous, Tea-Baggulous, Bush-Off Machine to pop out the other side as an "independent conservative".

As clean and fresh as laundry straight from the dryer.


Relieved of any responsibility for explaining why anyone should listen to someone who has been 100%  head-up-own-ass wrong about everything his entire adult life.

And, of course, ready to get back to the important business of cutting taxes and kicking those damn Liberals in the face.


This from Anonymous was too good not to add:
Somewhere, everyone's favorite innumerate Tory Andy Sullivan is reading that article and growling, in his best Walter White-as-Heisenberg voice, "stay out of my territory."


Geese Howard said...

Interesting, but that's not really what happens when you inject someone with sodium pentahol.

brother yam said...

Give me the College Republican and I'll give you the man...

Anonymous said...

Somewhere, everyone's favorite innumerate Tory Andy Sullivan is reading that article and growling, in his best Walter White-as-Heisenberg voice, "stay out of my territory."

olandp said...

We in the Joe.My.God. community have been following LaSylvia for years. He, The Living Picasso™, Christopher Baron, and their fellow GOProud delusionals have never endorsed a gay candidate, rather they have endorsed very anti-gay candidates over gay candidates. In the 2012 election they endorsed and campaigned for Mitt Romeney who just yesterday reasserted his opposition to same-sex marriage. Thinking gay and lesbians will have nothing to do with him or his ilk. Remember it was GOProud that declared Ann Culter "The Judy Garland of the Right."

Enough to make any decent person wretch in disgust.