Monday, December 24, 2012

Twas The Night Before Fitzmas

From my blog back in 2005, note how much has been all but lost to history and how much abides.

Merry Christmas, kids.  Be excellent to each other.

The clock ticks down towards High Noon

and The Man approacheth.

My antique laptop just started showing me a PAGE_FAULT_IN_A_NON_PAGE_AREA (rampant against a striking blue background) and began denying me access to Safe Mode, which means it's almost certainly time to start digging a PC hole, and rather a lot of work has probably gone to digital heaven.

Which, if I were better rested, would be freaking me out no little bit right now, and which is why I had to unship the borrowed-and-hadn't-yet-returned-Mac (And thank's be to you-know-who-you-are.)

But frankly I'd be in a lot less of a jolly mood if I hadn't stopped around Steve Gilliard's for a nightcap and found that Commentor Randy McGowan had penned this terrific parody

Thanks Randy; laughs are just a mite short-stocked around here these days, and this is some For Sure Grinnin' Funny sausage you're packin'.

So, let me step aside and just let you read on...

Twas the nite before Fitzmas and through the White House
Not a neocon stirred, even Cheney, that louse
The documents were shredded and all burned with care
Even Judy was smart enough not to be there

The liberals were snuggled all warm in their beds
Convinced that George Bush would no longer be led
With Laura in her burkah and George in his cap
He thought to himself, can I beat this wrap?

Then from the news there arose such a clatter
George ran to his office "what the hell is the matter!?!"
He grabbed Rove and said "what is the excitement?"
And there stood Fitzgerald, hands full of indictments

Karl’s bald head then started to glow
Like George Bush’s nose, in the days he did blow
When what to his bloodshot eyes should appear
But cops and attorneys and all coming near

Fitzgerald was thorough, if not very quick
And George now realized he wasn’t that slick
More rapid than eagles Fitz’s charges they came
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name

"Now, grab all those docs and seize that computer!
Arrest Cheney! And Rove! And Rumsfeld and Scooter!
To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall!
Now, lock away, lock away! Lock away all!"

With a wink of his eye and a twist of his head
Fitz let George know he had plenty to dread
He leaked not a word, but went straight to his work
arrested them all and said “Bush you’re a jerk”

And poking his finger in George Bush’s nose
Said time for a speech in the garden of rose
He sprang to his car to his team gave a shout
And away they dragged Rove who started to pout

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight:

F*** You Dick Cheney, and your friends on the right!


Kevin Holsinger said...

Good morning, Mr. Glass.

I hope you and your loved ones enjoy your holidays.

However, if the kids try to push you to watch "A Christmas Story 2" because "Hey, the first one was good", make sure you get some kind of bargain out of this. Because, the movie is just as bad an idea as you'd think it is.

Bustednuckles said...

Merry Christmas to you, Fran and your family from me and mine.

Suzan said...

And Happy Christmas to the BlueGlass gathering.


Love you guys!

May you prosper in the new year.

And be gifted with a new computer.

Your friend,