While details of this latest (and ultimately fatal) scandal are still being pieced together, the basic information is no longer in dispute:
1. During Chicago NPR affiliate WBEZ's Spring pledge drive, Mrs. Osceola Langdon -- an 84-year-old retired public school teacher and frequent public radio volunteer -- was staffing a phone bank. "I'm on the Social Security, and cain't rilly afford to give these kids much money, so it feels good to take the bus over once in awhile and hep out," Mrs. Langdon told this reporter.
2. During pledge break in Chicago's popular but mysteriously-named "848" program (which does not start at 8:48), Mrs. Langdon was overheard agreeing with a caller who referred to Republicans as "meanies" and Tea Partiers as "shockingly ignorant". "I tole her I taught history at Hugo Gernsback middle school for 38 years, and that if any one a' mah little ones had come in talkin' such fanciful nonsense, they woulda been stayin' after and cleanin' mah chalk boards for a week," Mrs. Langdon confirmed to this reporter.
3. The scandalous assertions were promptly reported to Fox News, which interrupted its ongoing coverage of who John Bolton thinks we should invade today with a "Special Alert". Sources at Fox also confirm that they are preparing a seven-part series -- "America's Fifth Columnists: Osceola Langdon, NPR and the call that Shocked a Nation!!" -- for broadcast later this month.
4. After initial and ultimately futile attempts to contain the damage by claiming that these were just "the comments of one nice old lady" that also "happened to be 100% true", the outgoing and final president of NPR issued this apology to "all Conservatives, Republicans, Centrists, Tea Party members, Corporatists, Whigs, Fascists, Copperheads, Tories, Fetal Liberationists, Randites, Neo-Nazis, Libertarians, Birchers and Dominionists throughout all time and space and across all 26 dimensions":
after which entire staff of NPR at both its national and local affiliates ritually disemboweled themselves, neatly wrapped their entrails in festive Public Radio tote bags and, with the last of their strength, scrawled "We're sooooo sorry!" on the tote bag's handy gift cards in their own blood before presenting them humbly to Andrew Brietbart and then expiring.
Meanwhile...
...in Centrist Heaven, the late David Broder was heard wondering aloud if NPR had really done enough to show its contrition.
Meanwhile...
...Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, Bill O'Reilly, Sean Hannity and all the rest of the
detestable tools in the Hate Media toolbox continue getting rich making models of the Devil's Tower out of their own poo on the air.
Meanwhile...
...Establishmentarian clowns like David Gregory
continue their really, really great careers unaffected by anything at all.
9 comments:
Hugo Gernsback middle school
golf clap.
Martini?
PBS: "where we comprehensively, glibly, smoothly and with overabundant self-satisfaction, present you the whole spectrum of political thought, from far right to extreme right then on to tumbling headlong into the fascist abyss.
Flirt with the fascists, get skewered by the fascists.
John Puma
No Point Resisting
Nether Portion Ready
I used to work at WBEZ and sometimes on "848". It's called that because WBEZ is at 848 E. Grand Ave on Navy Pier. I love your blog.
One goodish thing about NPR caving so cravenly to the absurd amateurish sting vido- the weasel o'keefe will be convinced again that he's a brilliant mastermind of... brilliance, and over-reach again with one of his half-assed scams. And end up in jail.
Good can come out of evil. Eventually.
Regarding Schiller, who seemed to deport himself about as well as any thoughtless, opinionated moron already headed for the door, I'd say his anti-Semitic 'admission' alone called for condemnation, apology and redress (let alone his helpful suggestions about giving back public radio's government checks).
But I haven't found any facts for or against the rumor that he's Republican -- was Schiller one of Bush's burrowers?
It still stuns me that there was a massive Stinque over calling the Tea Party racist. Bill Maher put it well when he said these people have a word stuck in their craw that is causing them pain. It starts with "n", ends with "r", and it's not "nation-builder".
Mike.K.
This scenario is entirely believable, except for the part where FOX"News" interrupts John Bolton with a special bulletin. They would have interrupted the milquetoast Democrat who offers a weak-tea rebuttal to John Bolton.
ditto what zombie rotten macdonald said. Bravo, sirrah!
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