When Wingnuts Dream

They dream of Rush Reagan.

I would be delighted if the GOP were to transubstantiate itself into something humane, pragmatic, data-drive and debate-worthy, because God knows we need all hands on deck these days.

But they won't -- they can't -- and so you now have the spectacle of a party/movement/cult that, on one hand, has clearly no fucking idea what it's core values even are anymore, but on the other hand is sprinting from camera to camera reassuring themselves that all they need do rebrand their atrocious ideology instead of rethinking it.

And if all this sounds a trifle familiar, it is because it is a shot-for-shot remake of the same incandescently brilliant strategy they trotted out after getting their milkshakes chugged in 2006.

Because ignorance and racism yoked to the service of plutocracy is not some weird, leftover ornament from the Very Very White Christmas

of an age gone by.

Or as Ripley over at Whiskey Fire eloquently put it:

Reformers. But… but, they just can’t help themselves. Like well-dressed junkies, they go back to get their fix; like spoiled children, they break down and cry and demand attention; like washed up athletes and Little Misses, they can’t stop talking about their Glory Days, when what they did mattered, at least to them.
And they expect America to sit quietly, smile politely and listen, once again, to how they could throw that football over that mountain. How, if things were different, they would have won. But always, always, revisiting whatever scene makes the best excuse and gets the most sympathy. And for Republicans, it’s always 9/11/2001. Always.
…

Ignoring both the slowly suffocating voices of their own consciences as well as the advice of party stalwarts like Barry “Every good Christian should line up and kick Jerry Falwell's ass" Goldwater, the GOP spent the last 30 years wallowing luxuriously in the electoral mudhole that Richard Nixon clawed into the soft, red clay of Lester Maddox’s Georgia and George Wallace’s Alabama.

Why?

Simple.

Because it fucking worked.

Because coaxing every miscreant, homophobe, gun nut, blood-and-soil Aryan nationalist, garden variety bigot and Christopath out from under every rock and rotting log in the Confederacy, down a rose-petal-strewn red carpet and into the Party of Lincoln won elections.

And as long as it was working, everyone who had hitched a ride in the Party of God's windowless clown wagon was quite content to busy themselves with aggressively ignoring the monster they had made, calling Liberals "traitor" and Turning Rush Up Louder when the screams from the vivisecting of the American Dream in the back of the van got too ear-splitting to ignore.

It was only after the tires had long since shredded off the Republican Long Con and the sparks from the rims had set the world on fire that the Party "moderates" finallyfinallyfinally started to wake up from their long Reagan-mancrush/tax-cut/heroin nod and wonder why everything smelled of shit, fascism and Fake Jesus, where all of those millions and millions of freaks had come from and who had given them the keys to "their" Party.

And so the African-American Michael Steele will serve out his term RNC Chair as the deeply-closeted Ken Mehlman served out his; front man for a Party that hates what he is, flesh and bone.

A Party that will trot him out on Let’s Pretend Unity Day when they need to shuck the media into believing that the legions of 27%-ers have been magically raptured away and that three decades of failure, lies, Limbaugh and Bush never happened.

A Party that will heave him into the boiling spotlight every time another George Allen fuckwit gets into political trouble and goes to the Karl Rove/Lee Atwater/Newt Gingrich, one-page, all-purpose, GOP “Blow that fucking ‘I-hate-darkies-too’ dog whistle as loud as you can” playbook

to save himself.


Of course Steele's past political genius moves, from getting Mike Tyson and Don King to campaign for him...

From Pam’s House Blend:

I don't care if Mike Tyson is your brother-in-law, he's a flipping ear-muncher, rapist and head case. What an endorsement. And Steele even said this (don't fall off of your chair):

"Let me tell you about Mike Tyson," Steele said. "He is one of the most engaging and smartest guys I have ever had a chance to go toe to toe with in a debate."

But wait, there's more...

At a news conference at an Italian restaurant, Tyson said he would likely go just four rounds and that future stops on the tour might include bouts with women, possibly professional boxer Ann Wolfe.

...When asked if he was joking about fighting women, Tyson said, "I'm very serious."

...The man who vowed to eat Lennox Lewis' children and bit off a piece of Evander Holyfield's ear has said he's in no mood for a comeback.

But wait, there's even more...why stop at Tyson -- Steele scored promoter Don King to campaign for him:

"Yeah, Michael Steele, y'all, the next United States senator of the great state of Maryland," King bellowed as he descended the stairs of the Republican nominee's big blue campaign bus and set foot on Pennsylvania Avenue. "He cares about Jesus."

...King, 75, served about four years in prison for manslaughter for stomping a man to death in 1966, according to news reports. In 1954, he shot another man - King said the victim was a burglar - and was acquitted.

"He is brilliant, charismatic, hardworking and totally amoral," said Thomas Hauser, author and lead writer for the boxing Web site Secondsout.

...to sprinting anonymously and at the speed-of-light the Hell away from his own Party’s sinking popularity while remaining dog-loyal to its positions, principles and policies in the hopes of head-faking his way into the Senate just two years ago...

For One Senate Candidate, the 'R' Is a 'Scarlet Letter'

By Dana Milbank
Tuesday, July 25, 2006; A02

The candidate, immersed in one of the most competitive Senate races in the country, sat down to lunch yesterday with reporters at a Capitol Hill steakhouse and shared his views about this year's political currents.

On the Iraq war: "It didn't work. . . . We didn't prepare for the peace."

On the response to Hurricane Katrina: "A monumental failure of government."

On the national mood: "There's a palpable frustration right now in the country."

It's all fairly standard Democratic boilerplate -- except the candidate is a Republican . And he's getting all kinds of cooperation from the White House, the Republican National Committee and GOP congressional leaders.

Not that he necessarily wants it. "Well, you know, I don't know," the candidate said when asked if he wanted President Bush to campaign for him. Noting Bush's low standing in his home state, he finally added: "To be honest with you, probably not."
...

It's not an ideological matter. Even as he berated the president, the candidate allowed that he opposes a pullout from Iraq, agrees with Bush's veto of human embryonic stem cell research, and supports constitutional amendments banning same-sex marriage and flag burning.

"He's the best!" cheered Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist (R-Tenn.) when he stopped in to shake the candidate's hand during the lunch yesterday.
...

The candidate looked the part of the contender, wearing a monogrammed shirt, his French cuffs sprouting cuff links coordinated with his necktie. He ate carefully, removing the gelatinous yolk from the four-minute egg in his salad. But he spoke with little caution as he ladled a heaping portion of criticism on his own party.
...

The response to Katrina was "a monumental failure," he continued. "We became so powerful in our ivory towers, in our gated communities. We forgot that there are poor people." The detachment remained after the storm, he said. "I could see that they weren't getting it, they weren't necessarily clued in. . . . For me, the seminal moment was the [Dubai] port decision."
...

He spoke of his party affiliation as though it were a congenital defect rather than a choice. "It's an impediment. It's a hurdle I have to overcome," he said. "I've got an 'R' here, a scarlet letter."

That left the candidate in a difficult spot. "For me to pretend I'm not a Republican would be a lie," he reasoned. But to run as a proud Republican? "That's going to be tough, it's going to be tough to do," he said. "If this race is about Republicans and Democrats, I lose."

... are any indicator of future performance, his tenure as the greeter at the Palin/Limbaugh Swinevolk Casino (From HuffPo)

Rush: 177, Obama: 0

Obama tried to charm them, Rush tried to bully them. And the results are in. Round 1 goes by unanimous decision to Rush Limbaugh. Not one House Republican voted with the president on the stimulus package even after his "charm offensive."

These guys are the barbarians at the gate, there's no charming them. President Obama went to visit them, he invited them over to the White House, he had drinks with them, he stood by while they bad-mouthed Congressional Democrats, he adjusted the bill for them, he cut out the contraception education and he added tax cuts. In the end, what did he get for his efforts? A big fat doughnut. Nothing.

Not one House Republican voted for his stimulus package. 177-0.

On the other side, they went groveling over to Rush, tripping over themselves to court his favor and take his tongue-lashings (how grotesque does that sound?). In the end, he got them all (and all the national attention -- which was his true goal).
...

should be entertaining.
And hey, at least one Conservative Leader of the first water

has lovely things to say about his prospects.

Our Sad Little Stoogeocracy

The Father, The Son and The Crazymost.

"The surface of American society is covered with a layer of democratic paint,
but from time to time one can see the old aristocratic colours breaking through."
-- Alexis de Tocqueville

A lesson in Illinois politics for out-of-stater’s.

Given the nature of politics in the Land of Lincoln, there would not have been enough available faces in a cast photo from "Ben Hur" to do Photochop justice to all of the embarrassing stewards of the public trust that have come and gone in Illinois.

Hell, just doing a subset of Hired Truck and Silver Shovel would smoke my digits to their nubs, so instead a representational triumvirate.

Some of Our Leaders – Democrats all -- from left to right:

Illinois House Speaker Mike Madigan -- Illinois Combine power broker extraordinaire and daddy of State Attorney General and governor-in-waiting, the genuinely delightful Lisa Madigan.

Governor Shakedown -- son-in-law of Chicago Alderman Dick Mell and, through him, former aide-de-camp to both Chicago Alderman “Fast Eddie” Vrdolyak and State's Attorney Richard M. Richard Daley.

Todd Stroger -- current Crook County Board President who was bequeathed the job by father John Stroger, former Crook County Board President.

Which is all to say, again, that to get ahead in Big Dollar Illinois politics, there is a club.

And how do you know if you’re in the club?

Carefully check your last name.

Is it the name of Illinois royalty?

Is it the name of someone married to Illinois royalty?

Is it the name of someone married to a guy whose cousin is Illinois royalty?

Is it the name of a someone who helped a member in good standing of Illinois royalty figuratively bury a dead hooker?

If you cannot answer “Yes” to any of these questions, you’re not in the club.

Some snips from Greg Hinz’s Crain’s Chicago blog here documents the atrocities in greater detail (and thanks for the link love, Greg):

Blago's departure won't cure state's political woes
Posted by greg hinz at 1/28/2009 11:29 AM CST on Chicago Business

When Rod Blagojevich finally is removed from office--soon, folks, very soon--one heck of a party is likely to break out in certain locales from Springfield to City Hall.

That would be most inappropriate, because there's really nothing to celebrate.

Yes, the dude with the over-poofed pompadour, over-developed ego and over-inflated sense of entitlement will be political history, barring some stunner. Don't let the door hit ya on the way out, Rod.

But whatever his crimes and misdemeanors, high and low, Rod Blagojevich is only an example of what's gone terribly wrong with Illinois politics. The state's public life was a mess before he arrived. It's still that way.

Lots has been written about the most obvious reason for our collective malaise: our deeply entrenched culture of political corruption.

We the voters are responsible for electing the jerks in the first place, and we the media for letting them off the hook too easily. The tighter ethics laws that have begun to be enacted in the wake of the Blago years will help.

But it's not enough, not if Mr. Blagojevich could do the kinds of things he's accused of doing despite three solid decades of scorched-earth federal prosecution of governors and aldermen, legislators and judges--a veritable whole prison full of crooked Illinois pols, convicted and sentenced.

No, I suspect the root cause involves more than venality. Like how easy it is for an unknown pol of unproven worth to get into a high position here.

I'm not talking about Barack Obama. Rather, it's Mr. Blagojevich, who rose almost as fast through Illinois politics as did our new president.

I remember interviewing the then-state rep candidate back in the early '90s--the first media interview Mr. Blagojevich ever gave, he later reminded me more than once. He didn't know a heck of a lot. But he stumbled by, he had a nice smile and way about him, and he had a powerful father-in-law in Chicago Alderman Dick Mell (33rd). That's all it took.

It didn't take much more a few years later, when a seat in Congress opened up. And when Gov. George Ryan stumbled and announced his retirement, Messrs. Blagojevich and Mell cut a few deals here and Downstate and lined up just enough money and votes in the Democratic primary to beat Paul Vallas, who actually knew state government but ran a lousy campaign.

That attitude carried over to the Blagojevich government.
…

But he didn't know subtlety. And he didn't know how to govern, how to cut the deals and make the trades and concessions that are the heart of democracy. Instead, after a brief honeymoon, he fought and brawled with Springfield's real center of power, Speaker Mike Madigan, who bears his own share of blame for what has become of Illinois--i.e., the lack of a state capital plan, to give just one example.
…

And so while mocking Blago’s very public self-immolation may be great good sport, in the end he is just one more player in a long and tragic bipartisan farce.

Merely the most recent and flamboyant of the toxic fruits

to fall – reeking and wormy – from that very deeply-rooted poison tree of Illinois politics.

No way around it,

it's gonna to be a tough day for yours truly here at the castle.

I'll tell you about it someday over a beer.

Still, thoughts of Governor Shakedown's upcoming off-the-leash, Ranty the Clown I-am-the-Blessed-Virgin-Mary-and-Neil-Armstrong's-love-child baroqueapalooza...

(from the Chicago Tribune)

Blagojevich to give own closing argument
January 28, 2009

Gov. Rod Blagojevich will come to Springfield to make the closing argument in his own impeachment trial Thursday.

Lucio Guerrrero, Blagojevich's spokesman, said the governor wants to defend himself and also is responding to comments made by Senate President John Cullerton, who has urged Blagojevich to appear.

"Sen. Cullerton asked him to come down," Guerrero said. "So he's taking him up on that and wants to give his closing arguments... That's something he wanted to do."

Word of the governor's request to appear was delivered by a top aide to one of Cullerton's top staffers only moments before Cullerton announced the governor's plans on the Senate floor.

"I've been informed that the governor would like to come here tomorrow and (ask) leave of us to file an appearance," Cullerton told the Senate. "We would have to give him permission to do that, I would urge us all to give him that leave so he can argue as his own attorney.

"The rules would allow him an hour and a half to do that from 11 to 12:30. My suggestion is we would then take a break and the House prosecutor then would have 30 minutes for rebuttal, and at that point in time, we would then start our deliberations."
...

...lightens my heart

considerably.


Especially the

socko ending.

Seriously, if you follow the arc and velocity of his sociopathic narcissism to its logical conclusion, there is no reason in the world to think that Blago won't play this string all the way out, and

1. Refuse to recognize their authority over him.
2. Declare the whole impeachment proceeding to be illegitimate on its face for whatever reasons he dreams up on the drive into town.
3. Go back to his office and lock the door.

Which I believe in the trade is called going Full Saddam:

A risky gambit, but one which Governor Shakedown certainly has the follicular fortitude to take a run at.


At which point the convergence of angry politicians, armed state troopers, a thousand cameras and one Sunblottingly Gargantuan Ego may prove to be better political theater than we've witnessed 'round these parts since the mob scenes and the wild game of aldermanic Capture the Flag that followed the death of Mayor Harold Washington.

Unfrozen Caveman Governor

announces plans to go out crazyguns blazin'.

From MSNBC:

Blago requests to make closing argument

From NBC's Samira Puskar
The Illinois Senate president, John Cullerton, has just stated that Gov. Rod Blagojevich has requested to make an appearance before the prosecutor's closing arguments Thursday.

Blagojevich wants to file a closing argument -- but offer no testimony and no questions.

I supposed we can't blame Governor Shakedown too much.

After all, our modern world frightens and confuses him.

In fact, sometimes when he is caught on tape committing acts that are either criminal or an insult to his office or both, he wonders "Are little demons inside the recording machine putting on some kind of play?"

He doesn't know! His primitive mind can't grasp these concepts.

Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer @ Yahoo! Video

Mahatma Dandy

"Becoming the change you want to see in the world is a fucking valuable thing, you just don’t give it away for nothing!”

-- sayings of the Mahatma Dandy

No longer content with merely being a national embarrassment, Governor Shakedown's traveling freak show is now drawing global attention.

From the Times of India:

Impeached Blagojevich compares himself to Gandhi, Mandela

CHICAGO: Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich, facing a senate trial on corruption and malpractice charges, on Tuesday drew parallels with Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr saying he tried to bring perspective into his arrest last year by thinking about the leaders.

Referring to his December 9 arrest, Blagojevich told the NBC's 'Today' show, "...the day unfolded and I had a whole bunch of thoughts... my children, and my wife and then I thought about Mandela, Dr King, Gandhi and tried to put some perspective in all of this and that is what I am doing now."

He added he has not prepared himself for the possibility of prison.

…
A defiant Blagojevich said he would not participate in the trial as it was a sham and unfair and did not give him a chance to bring in witnesses.

"I know the fix is in and I will soon join the unfortunate people in this country who are losing their jobs," he said.

Which is an important lesson for you up-and-coming corrupt governors out there: you too can make headlines on the other side of the planet in a nation of over one billion people if you are willing to loudly compare your two-bit hustlebuck griftocracy with the life and times of the most beloved and pivotal figure in the modern history of their country.

Of course India is a world away, so the citizens of that proud and ancient land may not be familiar with how eerily the career of Governor Shakedown parallels the story of many of the 20th century's most famous civil rights pioneers.

For example, no one in Chicago will soon forget the time that he heroically refused to take a seat

in the back of the Gubernatorial SUV.


And of course we all remember being moved to tears by his electrifying

"I have a Scheme" speech.

Minding Your LEOs *

The good people at the Windy Citizen (bringing "...Chicagoans the best of the local web by letting them share, rate and discuss their favorite local news, photos, videos and more.") have come up with an elegant political app for Chicagoans called RepSheet for those of us who want to know WTF is going on in our neighborhood.

So while...

"It is the common fate of the indolent to see their rights become a prey to the active. The condition upon which God hath given liberty to man is eternal vigilance; which condition if he break, servitude is at once the consequence of his crime and the punishment of his guilt." (John Philpot Curran, 1790)

all the creators of this little funbox -- Milan and Brad -- are asking for is a few mouse clicks and some feedback (which will reach them if it is sent to "feedback@repsheet.com".)

Doesn't this seems like just the sort of thing some alert contributor to the Huffington Post "Chicago" page would love to promote and run with?


*(Local Elected Official)

Kristol Out on his Ass?

Change I can believe in.

If true, I would have to rate these six words as the happiest to be published by the New York Times as a result their own actions in the last year:

"This is William Kristol’s last column."

Of course, based on the Law of the Conservation of Villager Idiocy, I assume he has been let go to, oh, say, boss PBS, or take over as editor-in-chief at the L.A. Times, or run Citibank, or work part-time as the $175,0000/month rebranding manager for the Palin/Plumber '12 exploratory committee.

But for the next little bit I can dream that a just Universe has laced up its kicking shoes and finally, finally, finally punted this smirking, bestial, blood-soaked hack into the ranks of the unemployed and that the next we'll hear of him will be a mention in the Walton Family house organ as "Greeter of the Month" at the Sadr City WalMart.

By the way, one anagram for "Kristol's last column" is

"A troll mocks, insults"

Another is:

"Mass Kill Lust Con Rot"

But then, you already knew that.

Sunday Morning Comin’ Down

In which Republicans announce they would be thrilled -- really, just thrilled -- to support a stimulus package...as long as it is exactly as they would have written it if they hadn't been kicked to the electoral curb as utterly discredited failures, and is completely congruent with their ruinous and roundly repudiated crackpot economic theories.

So, go bipartisanship!

Although they are willing to say nice things about the parts of where Democrats have caved in and sugared up the packages with Conservative Cyclamates in the form of hundreds of billions of dollars more in economically reckless cut taxes.

So, go Buy-partisanship!

On “Meet the Press”

David Gregory starts the fun by rolling over and letting John Boehner -- the Umber Weephole of Rightwing Umbrage -- scratch his furry, white tummy while telling tall tales about sunny Guantanamo (from C&L):

"We've already found 61 of those we released back on the battlefield," said Boehner.

A study published by Seton Hall Law Professor Mark Denbeaux on Jan. 15 finds the Pentagon wrongly altered its figures on terrorist 'recidivism' 43 times, with the latest figure being "the most egregiously so."

Boehner then sobbed out big, inconsolable Conservative Jebus-tears

over the prospect that some poor, Republican trustifarian somewhere may this very evening have to go to bed without a tax cut:

Democrats want to piss away your munnies on sod and contraceptives! OMFG! Everyone knows that the only way to save us all is to keep cutting taxes. For rich people. Forever. So we want to work with this President. This isn’t about Democrat and Republican. We want him to succeed. And we want our party to be the party of better ideas.

Like, say, maybe…tax cuts.

Hellz yeah!

Hey, did someone say tax cuts?

Sure, why not!

Bigger and awesomer tax cuts.

Tax cuts visible from space.



Later, Tom Friedman reassured a worried nation that Moustache of Understanding’s Strategic Cliché Reserve is in no danger of running dry.

On the economic package (after an excruciating, 70-minute explanation of the movie “Jaws” up to the moment he is referring to, for the nine adults in America who are unfamiliar with the movie): Your gonna need a bigger boat.

On the Middle East: Gaza & West Bank iz hard. Gonna take Presidential leadership.

On terrorism generally: One more massive attack on America and that’s the end of open society as we know it. That happens and you’ll be taking of more than your shoes at the airport

On “Fox News Sunday”

John McCain believes that Barack Obama is perhaps walking into the worst situation since Lincoln, and that he can maybe help him devising a strategy in Afghanistan.

OK, but....

According to Big John McCain, the stimulus should have more…what?

A) Limes.
B) Carbon neutrality
C) Tax cuts

And the …what?…should be made permanent:

A) Republican minorityhood.
B) The Conflateriarchy.
C) Bush tax cuts.

McCain: As-is, the Liberal Stimulomicon sucks ass and I won't sign it.

McCain: Yeah, waterboarding is torture, but people who did it were just following orders and should not be prosecuted.

Wallace: How much ouchy boo-boo was it losing to that Scary Socialist?

McCain: I have been humbled and honored to work for this country.

Wallace: But bathos makes such better teevee, so please be peevish and self-pitying.

McCain: No

Wallace: What about Mooselini?

McCain I think the world of Sarah Palin. I’m pleased to know her, and she has a bright future.

Later, Chuck Schumer explains that the 1/3 of the stimulus based on tax cuts was to make the Republicans happy.

Schumer: There are three goals for the economic package. Immediate assistance. Creating jobs. Improve the efficiency of the economy. Health care IT. Energy gird. This last will make it possible for the economy to have someplace to go once it recovers.

Almost all economists say it is the right balance, and most – several conservative – say it is not big enough.

Wallace: What about the fucking bankers?

Schumer: The problem with the first package was that, for some mysterious reason, opening up the bellies of C-5s


and indiscriminately dumping bales of untraceable cash on people


doesn't work as either military or domestic policy.

So maybe this time we’ll try keep track of this shit?

Wallace: Communist!


On “Face the Nation”

Vice President Joe Biden explained that because the Bush Administration’s attention span for all things non-Iraq was about 16 seconds, Afghanistan has reverted to the same Taliban-ruled, narco-funded pesthole that it was before 9/11. Which means now we have to go back and retake the same ground we fought and bled over seven years ago.



On ”The Chris Matthews Show”

Bob Woodward: The problem is, my banker friends the banks are not making money.

Howard Fineman: Obama needs one, big idea. Like Reagan’s tax cuts. Because Americans are idiots who cannot comprehend, say, Two Ideas at once. Or, god forbid, Three.

Woodward: We need more of my banker friends banks to be able to come out and say “I’m making money.”

Fineman: Republicans are a lot more partisan than I expected them to be.

Shorter Kelly O’Donnell: If you investigate stuff, the Republicans will say bad things about you.

Shorter Bob Woodward: Too late anyway.


Then, a perfect example of the Mouse Circus’ dark antics: “What do you think was in the private note between Bush and Obama?”

In other words, let’s spend five minutes on completely out-of-our-asses speculation about a subject which it is inherently impossible for any of us to know a damn thing about.



On “This Week”

George Stephanopoulos: Aren’t you screwing the GOP out of a voice in the process? Where’s the effing biparty-time goodness?

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi: No. We listened to them and we took up their amendments in committee.

Pelosi: There isn’t any economist in the world that thinks things are anything but screwed sideways.

Pelosi: The investments were making will create more jobs than tax cuts, but to make the GOP happy we’re including tax cuts too.

Stephanopoulos: How about throwing more hundreds of billions at the banks? Shall we nationalize?

Pelosi: Whatever you call it, the American people should get an equity share in the banks.



Then, the roundtable pairs off Paul Krugman (Noble-prize winning economist) with Carly Fiorina (HP kamikaze-CEO and former ace-adviser to the McCain Campaign), as well as the usual suspects; Sam Donaldson, Cokie Roberts and George Will.


Krugman: The delay in spending is probably not a bad thing since the CBO is predicting that the economy will still be sucking the tail-pipe in 2011.

Krugman: None of the things that worked 25 years ago have any prospect of working today.

Krugman: We have been underinvesting in infrastructure.

Fiorina: But none of this solves the credit crisis…

Krugman: The problem is we have a borderline-insolvent financial system. Banks are holding a bunch of worthless crap.

Fiorina: Government shouldn’t own the banks, but the money should come with stings attached. Tiny, spider-web-thin, free-market strings, one of which should be they have to actually lend me some fucking dinero it.

Krugman: So you want the government to run the banks…without owning the banks. How charmingly magical thinking of you.

Will: Democrats don’t want to unwind this problem because it lets them do what they’ve wanted to do for 30 years: permeate corporate governance with what they call the social good.

Krugman: Who?

Will: Barney Frank.

Krugman: Barney Frank just wants to regulate banks the way we always have.

Will: Grrrr...

And this is why you have people like The Shrill One on these shows; so when George Will poops out for the millionth time some tired, Republican talking point about Democrats being Sekrit Socialists, someone is actually present at the scene of the crime to get up in his grill and demand that he back his piffle up with the bare minimum of journalisming standards: specific names and specific acts.

Which is where most GOP homilies about the horrors of the Gummint and the glories of unfettered capitalism tend to melt down.

At least that’s what some people say…

So when Fiorina says that, instead of scary government regulations, Murrican Bidniz should regulate itself -- should step up -- that people who have driven their companies into the ground (like HP?) shouldn’t be given fat bonuses -- I would agree.

Because, hey, if multi-billion-dollars corporations ran on shoulda-woulda-coulda that would be nine different kinds of awesome.

But they don’t. And in my lifetime they never have.

And wouldn’t it be nice if someone – anyone – were around to mention those little, inconvenient facts before one more cubic yard of Conservative free market bullshit is allowed to dry into another cinderblock of congealed conventional Villager Wisdom to be hung around our dirty hippy throats?

Sexual Davenport

I am hosting the best relatives in America this weekend, so keeping it short today.

And so a joke, courtesy of my cool, hippy mom.

A woman walks into a furniture store…

Salesman: Can I help you ma’am?

Woman: Yes, well I don’t know if you carry them, but I’m looking for a sexual davenport.

Pause.

Salesman: A what?

Woman: A sexual davenport.

Salesman: You must mean a sectional davenport.

Woman: No, I’m looking for a sexual davenport.

Longer pause

Salesman: Ma’am, I’ve been selling furniture for thirty years and I have never heard of anything called a “sexual davenport”.

Woman: Well I don’t care what you call it, but what I want is an occasional piece in my living room.

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, and don’t forget to tip your wait staff generously.

Corrupt Governor Update XIII

Step right up, ladies and gentlemen, and see The Amazing Dog-Faced Governor!

Yowazh! Yowzah!

For the price of one, thin dime, ladies and gentlemen. One tenth of a dollah!

Yowazh! Yowzah!

File under: Turns out, crime actually does pay...

From Crain's Chicago

Guv offered radio show if he resigns
Jan. 22, 2009

A Chicago radio station is offering embattled Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich a new job.

During a show early Thursday, the program director at WLS-AM announced that if Blagojevich resigns, the station will offer him his own weekly radio program from noon to 2 p.m. on Sundays.

Program director Bob Shomper said the station is asking the governor to spare the state the embarrassment and expense of forcibly removing him from office.

Blagojevich has been impeached by the state House and faces an impeachment trial in the Senate starting Monday that could end with his removal.
...

On the one hand, Governor Shakedown is being offered a sweet media gig at Chicago's 50,000 watt powerhouse station -- the radio home of Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh -- if he would just pretty-please shut up and go away.

And let's be clear; the offer isn't exactly charity. Radio is about selling snow tires, landscaping services, penis pills and various juices. You do that by gathering a crowd around the wagon. And as AM hate radio has proved for 25 years, nothing pulls in a crowd like stunts and freak shows.

And at the moment, there's no bigger Dog-Faced Boy on the great Media Midway than Governor Shakedown.

On the other hand, like millions of other Americans, I sacrificed literally thousands of long, hard, unpaid overtime hours and sank endless sweat, passion and expertise into last place because that is what the "other duties as assigned" part of the job demanded. And when they kicked my ass to the curb, like millions of other Americans, the only thing I was offered the choice of paper or plastic for carrying away my few possessions.

I bet if we all look reeeeal hard we can find a lesson in there somewhere.

In Retrospect

it was probably a bad idea to put Joe Wilson in charge of helping Dick Cheney navigate his way safely out of the Capitol after the inauguration was over.

Probably.

Everything

Old

Is

New

Again

And don't throw the past away
You might need it some other rainy day

Dreams can come true again
When everything old is new again

The Angry Baby Party Abides

Standing in their poo-stained underpants and screaming "This shall not pass" at, well, the entire future, the Angry Baby Party isn't going to grow up and isn't going to go away.

From John Amato at C&L:

Rush Limbaugh is not mincing words and showing the real face of Conservative ideals as he announces that he wants Barack Obama to fail. He is the worldwide voice of Conservatism, so the Republican party has just gotten its marching orders. I dare any Republican to defy him.

What this means, of course, is that he hopes the economy crashes into a full-blown depression. His multimillion-dollar salary is safe, obviously, so to hell with the nation and its economy if the cost of saving the country is being guided by a Democratic President.

Limbaugh: I'm happy to be the last man standing. I'm honored to be the last man standing. Yeah, I'm the true maverick. I can do more than four words. I could say I hope he fails and I could do a brief explanation of why. You know, I want to win. If my party doesn't, I do. If my party has sacrificed the whole concept of victory, sorry, I'm now the Republican in name only, and they are the sellouts.

I'm serious about this. Why in the world, it's what Ann Coulter was talking about, the tyranny of the majority, all these victims here, we gotta make sure the victims are finally assuaged. Well, the dirty little secret is this isn't going to assuage anybody's victim status, and the race industry isn't going to go away, and the fact that America's original sin of slavery is going to be absolved, it's not going to happen. Just isn't, folks. It's too big a business for the left to keep all those things alive that divide the people of this country into groups that are against each other. Yes, I'm fired up about this.

...

And so with Drinky McStagger slinking back to Crawford and eternal infamy, and disgraced former Vice President Orlok

forced to relocate his pine box to new, unhallowed ground democracy's own tapeworm

(From the Washington Post, December 11th, 1994):
The House Republican newcomers made Rush Limbaugh an honorary class member tonight, a symbol of their gratitude for conservative talk-radio hosts who championed their campaigns. Limbaugh was presented a "Majority Makers" pin, the emblem of the newcomers who have given their party majority status in the House for the first time in 40 years. Six GOP women in the class added their own special thanks, presenting Limbaugh with a plaque that said: "Rush was right." And Rep.-elect Barbara Cubin (R-Wyo.) added: "There's not a femiNazi among us."
...

has come slouching out of the cold puddle of Conservative Bush Administration after-sick to reclaim the title of Once and Future King of the Pig People.

Bwahahah!

Hey, Rush.

Bring.
It.
On.

Setting Aside Childish Things

Doesn't mean we can't dance!

(For those of you who may not be familiar with the phrase "Pick yourself up/ Dust yourself off" outside of our new President's Inaugural Address)

...
Work like a soul inspired,
Till the battle of the day is won.
You may be sick and tired,
But you'll be a man, my son!

Will you remember the famous men,
Who had to fall to rise again?
So take a deep breath,
Pick yourself up,
Dust yourself off,
Start all over again.
...

The End

According to the Washington Post, Actual President Cheney will be attending the end of the Warped, Frustrated Old Man regime in a wheelchair:

White House Says Cheney to Be in Wheelchair Tuesday

Vice President Cheney will be in a wheelchair for tomorrow's inauguration ceremony, the White House said tonight, after he pulled a muscle in his back.

Cheney was moving into his new house in McLean from the Naval Observatory when he hurt his back moving boxes, White House Press Secretary Dana Perino said.

The vice president's doctor found no significant damage from the injury, Perino said. Nevertheless, he advised Cheney to spend the next couple of days in a wheelchair.

...

And while I don't buy for a moment that Evil Regent Blam-Blam hurt his bionic fanny moving his collection of shrunken human heads out of the Cheneybunker, I do believe in a God of justice and hilarity, and therefore cannot help but believe that She will, at some point today, briefly arrange the following tableaux

for our entertainment and instruction.

UPDATE: Of course, Malacandra beat me to it by a month, and darkblack's Dicktor Strangelove shows that he is the King of All Pixels :-)

Of Course You Already Know

that today is Martin Luther King, Jr. Day of Service, as well as the sweet "Fin de Regime"-perfumed last day of the Fiery Wreck Administration

But you might not know that today is also the 200th Birthday of one of America's greatest authors: Edgar Allan Poe.

He's one of those writers about whom I know way too much. His life, death and the pain in between. The crap he wrote. The great stuff he wrote. His work as an editor. The time in 1843 that a fan of his -- Robert Tyler, son of President John Tyler –- got him invited to the White House to meet the President, at which time he blew an opportunity to gain valuable support and status by showing up drunk and trying to sell Tyler a magazine subscription.

The women in his life who died horribly.

His fame and poverty.

“On January 29, 1845, his poem "The Raven" appeared in the Evening Mirror and became a popular sensation. Though it made Poe a household name almost instantly, he was paid only $9 for its publication.”

In 2006, I wrote about Poe as the Ur-Blogger.

And in 2005, I couldn’t help availing myself of “The Raven” to make a little mock…

Once upon a bender bleary, while I pondered, weak and beery,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,


With my nod on, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
(Actually more like a serious bitch-slapping),

...smacking at my chamber door.
”WTF," I mumbled, "I’m on vacation! Ask Dick; he runs the nation.
Get off my ass and let Karl do it," I loud and soddenly swore.

Ah, distinctly I remember, it was in the bleak September,
And every fucktard, camp-following member had been given his sinecure.

Eagerly I wished the morrow; vainly I had sought to borrow
Chinese cash or some “Aw Shucks” Charisma from the the lost Gipp-er,.
For the Smilin’, Beguilin’ Monster who could sell our Republican Manure,
Dead and gone forevermore.

And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each voting booth curtain
Thrilled me---filled me electoral delirium tremens throughout all of 2004;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood bleating,
" 'Tis some Pioneer Contributor, or Halliburtoning Corporate whore
Or another dimwit frat rat trollop sporting a Santorum coiffure
...This it is, and nothing more."

...

And today, since I am 700 miles too far away from Baltimore for the traditional cognac and roses, I offer the first few paragraphs of an as-yet-unsold short story about time travel, murder, alternate history and the real circumstances behind Poe’s mysterious death, all written in a Faux Poe voice using a pastiche of as many borrowed bits and parts from actual stories and poems as the plot of a 4,000 word story would bear without breaking.

I wrote it as an exercise and for fun, which is good because it turns out that the market for alternate history/time travel/murder-mysteries stories written in a Faux Poe voice is somewhat limited :-)

The Despairing Posture of His Fall

by driftglass

It’s true that I have been unnerved. And yes, I am terribly disturbed, dreadfully agitated, but I am not mad. You tell me that you have known me all my life. You believe that since you have long known me, seeing me now, like this, you may call me mad. You know nothing. You who know me so well, you also do not know me at all. We have dined together many times, and yet we have never met. Madmen are dull and preoccupied with trivial things. My disease, if you must call it such, had honed my senses. My sight and my hearing are painfully acute, and with the precision -– the genius -- vouchsafed me by my new awareness, I destroyed a world. An entire world. No one else in all the Earth can say that.

No one else can hear the screams of the world that I tipped into oblivion, like a rat squealing out its mortal terror in the jaws of a cat.

All around, lapped over existence like an oily skin, I can see that other time -– that alternative universe -- scrambling for purchase like a drowning man. Everywhere it is so, and I perceive it all with searing clarity, but above all I can hear him. He exists now nowhere else but in my thoughts and the gore you gape at in such horror, the blood that oozes from my eyes and my mouth and my ears, that is his vengeance. It is this; it is the primal power of his screams as he is negated piece by piece that is liquefying my brain.

But what I did I would do again, and I am not mad. Watch how calmly and without rancor I can relate the whole of the story, and then judge.

Imagine it. To travel back against the raging currents of time. To murder with impunity and without the possibility of detection. Unspeakably evil, you might say, but understand, I have nothing but love for the man himself. I have studied him all my life. I pity him the conditions of his early years; truly he suffered the agonies of the damned, but that gave him no right to smother my world.

Clearly you do not understand. In this world you cannot understand his...ubiquity.

In his world...

In his world he has affixed his stamp to everything. His ideas on the nature of time and evolution and machine intelligence are still referenced in every institute of higher learning. His methods for the treatment of the disorders of the mind are still practiced. Do you see? The Friends of Edgar began with his revelation that the opium addict and the alcoholic are ravaged by disease and not moral defect. By his influence even the War of Southron Independence was muscled onto a very different course than the one you know, and these are simple footnotes of his true calling. He was, above all, the Author. Mr. Mark Twain himself has said that he was our American Tolstoy.

Do you see how I bleed! Do you see how the dying of that other world is manifest!

Blood, as the man once wrote of another red death, is its Seal and its Avatar. I say again I loved the man and never begrudged him becoming a legend; I hated him for becoming a God. He left no room for the rest of us. He would have buried us all alive beneath his overwhelming presence, and I could not allow that to happen.

I can tell you exactly the moment when the idea came into my consciousness. It was aboard the short rocket flight to Chicago.
…

For an extra-special bonus, Lou Reed re-interprets "The Raven" here:

(As read by by Willem Dafoe.)

...Where the Good Lord Split Ya

As the Bicycle Chief's Failapalooza "My Way" tour winds to a close, it seemed an opportune time to haul this out of the attic before packing it away in the time capsule.

From January, 2006: The Anti-Sinatra

Think not?

Frank: Fought for scraps, made it big on his talent.

Dubya: Constantly fucking up, made it big on Daddy’s Rolodex.

Frank: Grew up poor, liked to dress up rich and hang out with his crew.

Dubya: Grew up rich, likes to dress like a cowboy and hang out with lickspittles and yes-men.

Frank: Fell in love with Ava & broke his heart.

Dubya: Fell in love with Dewars and constantly bruising his face.

Frank: Regular guy who hung out with mobsters because he liked the reputation it gave him.

Dubya: A Fredo-grade gangster who rubs himself up against hand-picked “regular people” in hopes of covering his moral stink.


Still not convinced?

Well just look at Dubya’s cover of “My Way”. Then decide.


1...2...3...


And soon, November nears;
And so we face the next election.
My friends, keep pimping Fear,
It's all that give us our erection.

I’ve lived a wastrel’s life
Should be trailer-bound and selling Amway
But Daddy’s rich; friends richer still
So I get things my way.

Regrets? My drunken kids.
Except for them, I am perfection.
Shivved who I wanted to
And spied on you without detection.

But though I planned Dubya parades;
Down each Iraqi byway,
I fucked it all, fucked it in spades
’Cause we did it my way.

Yes every day, I’m sure you knew
That I bit off way, waaay more than I could chew.
But through it all, when there was doubt,
I ran away, to wait it out.
While I goofed around, Karl slimed ‘em down;
And called ‘em all gay.

I’m weak and mean and dim
Done more than my share of boozing.
And now that I am SOTU-dry,
I find the real world so confusing.

Hard to believe I told so many lies.
And not one told in a shy way,
Oh no, got right in your face:
That’s lying my way.

For what is a Neocon, what has he got?
If he’s not my ass-man, then he has naught.
The GOP has spines like eels,
When I walk in, everyone kneels.
The record shows, they blow me like pros
In that Mehl-man-ly Guy Way!

Thank You

So I went to that place on the corner where they do the dogs just so and the mustard’ll Mike-Brady-perm your nose hairs, puffed out my chest, and asked: “Hey, any discounts for, say, recent weblog award winners?”

“What the fuck is a fuckin’ 'wee blahj'?"

So no joy there.

At the Dirty Hippy joint?

“Fuck you. Narc.”

The drink-slinger absently planing condensation rings and peanut shells off the bar at the Irish pub?

“Whoozat? Blagoozavitze’s cousin?”

"Sweet, slam-dancing Jebus," I wept. "In a world where no country but Iceland honors web-based awards as legal tender, how could we expect the global economy to have gone any direction but tits-up?!"

And trudging home -- dogless, un-fair-trade-coffeed and undrunk through a Chicago winter cold enough to suspend atomic motion -- I discovered one place where being a 2008 Weblog Award honoree counts for something.

Turns out here at the castle, it means a lot.

It means that people I respect and admire in a community that has accepted me as a member think enough of what I do and how I do it to stop by and give me a pat on the ass. And to those of us out here in the tall grass of the digital exurbs, that exchange -- irrespective of contests and awards -- counts for so very much.

There are a lot of people to thank, but I want to single out the sentimental favorite for Best Liberal Blog in any arena, the cruel terminatrix of Taylor Marsh’s dreams of glory, and the Digital Den Mother to half the dirty hippies in New Gauchington, our own Blue Gal.

Thank you, BG!

Many thanks, too, to Shakes and the denizens of Shakesville.

To the whole crew at Crooks and Liars: that Big Blog with the Little Blog touch where I hang out sometimes.

To the General, whose het-abulous manliness is the towering tree in which the rest of us build our treasonous nests.

To Rawrahs (and his lady fair).

To the indispensable Jon Swift.

To Ms. Susie Bright, writer extraordinaire.

To the cats and kittens at the Group News Blog.

To the other, overlapping clowder (look it up) of cats and kittens at Fighting Liberals, where I post from time to time.

To the splendid Mock, Paper, Scissors.

To every last hussein at Brilliant at Breakfast.

To the filthy bastid ‘Ristocrats.

To Bill “Absolutely Not Safe For Work Unless You’re Larry Flynt” in Exile.

To FranIAm

To Darkblack (whose Sekrit Tribal Name is He-who-hath-stolen-the-Devil’s-Own-Photoshoppe-grimoire (look it up))

To Phydeaux and Phriends

To the Ornery Bastard

To Last Left B4 Hooterville

To Welcome back to Pottersville

To Impeachment and Other Dreams

To Wonkette and Sadly, No!, whose ICBM throw weight made such a huge difference.

To Mike, the Mad Biologist.

To Yoga Korunta

To “Berwyn Talk Forum”.

To Swimming Freestyle.

To the Pajama Pundit.

Thanks to Lindsay at the mighty Majikthise for her skill and wow.

Thanks to The Anchoress for her gracious comment.

Thanks to the late Steve Gilliard, blogger of the First Water, who kicked my ass out of the nest and got me started doing this stuff.

Thanks to my astonishing family and that cadre of dear friends who also know me in civilian life and keep my secrets.

I’m sure I missed a bunch of people because, well, (to steal from Digby, as we all do) I’m dead inside. So forgive me that, and accept my thanks.

And now, on with the circus…

Best,

driftglass.

Jesusland's Maximum Leader

Bids farewell to his loyal drudges, myrmidons, toadies, trucklers, peons, drones, lickspittles and nad-chamois.

Two nights in a row I have seen blood-soaked madmen on my teevee taking victory laps through the imaginary, eight-year history of a fictional America.

Over here in the Real World -- the one they
hollowed out, set on fire, looted and left for dead --

things look very different.




Well, you wonder why I always dress in black,
Why you never see bright colors on my back,
And why does my appearance seem to have a somber tone.
Well, there's a reason for the things that I have on.


I wear the black for the poor and the beaten down,


Livin' in the hopeless, hungry
side of town,

I wear it for the prisoner who has long paid for his crime,
But is there because he's a victim of the times.


I wear the black for those who never read,
Or listened to the words that Jesus said,


About the road to happiness through
love and charity,

Why, you'd think He's talking straight to you and me.

Well, we're doin' mighty fine,
I do suppose,

In our streak of lightnin' cars
and fancy clothes,


But just so we're reminded of the ones who are held back,
Up front there ought 'a be a Man In Black.


I wear it for the sick
and lonely old,

For the reckless ones whose bad trip left them cold,

I wear the black in mournin' for the lives that could have been,
Each week we lose a hundred fine young men.


And, I wear it for the thousands
who have died,


Believen' that the Lord was
on their side,



I wear it for another hundred thousand who have died,
Believen' that we all were on their side.



Well, there's things that never will be right I know,

And things need changin' everywhere you go,

But 'til we start to make a move to make a few things right,
You'll never see me wear a suit of white.


Ah, I'd love to wear a rainbow every day,

And tell the world that everything's OK,

But I'll try to carry off a little darkness on my back,

'Till things are brighter,
I'm the Man In Black.

Down In Front!

Despite the ongoing snark-level-red threat of an unwelcome intruder interrupting tonight's Neocon Porno Pity Party, the Bicycle Chief vows to keep farewelling until he gets it right!

From Gail Collins:

Tonight President George W. Bush bids adieu to the American people.

Excitement mounts.

The man has been saying goodbye for so long, he’s come to resemble one of those reconstituted rock bands that have been on a farewell tour since 1982. We had exit interviews by the carload and then a final press conference on Monday, in which he reminisced about his arrival on the national stage in 2000. “Just seemed like yesterday,” he said.

I think I speak for the entire nation when I say that the way this transition has been dragging on, even yesterday does not seem like yesterday. And the last time George W. Bush did not factor into our lives feels like around 1066.
...

Why?

Because he led the Greatest Administration Evah!

From the News Hour:

MR. LEHRER: One more general scope here, Mr. Vice President. What do you make of a current suggestion that you have been in fact the most powerful vice president in history, but in one of the most failed presidencies in history?

VICE PRES. CHENEY: I don't buy that.

MR. LEHRER: You don't buy that?

VICE PRES. CHENEY: No, I think the argument that this is a failed presidency is just dead wrong. I think we'll hear that from some of our critics, but when I look back at what we've been able to do - we dealt with big issues.

We didn't deal with school uniforms...

Translation: Social Programs are for fags. Real men slaughter people. Lots and lots and lots of people. Then they wipe the blood up with the Bill of Rights. Then they go on teevee and brag about it.

MR. LEHRER: But, Mr. Vice President, people would say back to you, wait a minute, you govern in the present, not about what some historian is going to say 50 years from now. The idea, in a democratic society, of having a - the disapproval of an overwhelming majority of the American people - does that work?

VICE PRES. CHENEY: That's what elections are for, Jim. And as I say, we went out and stood for election and we reelected comfortably. But you cannot, in these circumstances especially, start worrying about the polls in terms of whether or not you're going to make these tough decisions.

...
This president did it; I think he did it very well. I think he's been tough and aggressive when he needed to be, and been willing to take the political heat, which is more important, in my opinion, than being loved.

MR. LEHRER: More important than having the approval of the people who elected you?

VICE PRES. CHENEY: Well, how do you want to go out and measure that? Do you want to go out and poll and say, gee, we aren't up to 70 percent yet, we'd better not make any tough decisions here? I mean, you cannot be driven by the polls. The polls change all the time; they're easily manipulated by whoever wants to ask those poll questions; they go up; they go down.

The Cheney Metric: 70% of Americans are idiots who need my iron boot on their throats. Fuck them. As long as the stone-batshit-crazy Christopath 27%-ers love us, we're Doin' It Rite!

MR. LEHRER: So it doesn't trouble you at all to be leaving office next week with the overwhelming disapproval of the majority of the people, as measured by the polls? It doesn't bother you, personally?

VICE PRES. CHENEY: I don't buy that. No, first of all - I don't buy that. And I find, when I get out and talk with people, that that's not the unanimous view, as you would have it.
...

Maybe he believes this because Cheney only speaks in front of people he can order to applaud him, and fire when they don't sufficiently kiss his ass.

Then again, maybe he believes this because Cheney is a liar.

MR. LEHRER: What about in the domestic area? What of the economy? The economic downturn is on scope or on a par with the Great Depression. Was it not a miscalculation or a failure to see that coming?

VICE PRES. CHENEY: No, I don't think it was a miscalculation. I think we had good economic policies, especially in the early years. I think the tax packages we passed in '03, for example, produced 52 months - uninterrupted months of job growth.

We've run into trouble recently, obviously, beginning in '08 because of the financial crisis, as well as the recession, but those are not U.S. problems alone. Those are global problems, those are problems that have affected nations and economies all over the world; that's not something that is just a U.S. problem. As I look at it, I think we've been successful at intervening -

MR. LEHRER: On the economy you've been successful?

VICE PRES. CHENEY: We've been successful at intervening economically with respect to the financial crisis, in that what we did with respect to TARP by moving as aggressively as we did, that there is, in fact, positive progress. We stabilized, if you will, the financial system out there. Now, there's still a lot of work to be done, yet, but the inter-bank lending rate's back down where it belongs, interest rates are low - all of these things are moves in the right direction.
...

MR. LEHRER: What about - going back to the original question - about seeing this coming? Isn't that part of the stewardship of the president, of the vice president and of his administration - to see these things coming and try to prevent them from coming, rather than to act after they've happened?

VICE PRES. CHENEY: Did you see it coming, Jim? You're an expert.

MR. LEHRER: I'm not the president or the vice president of the United States.

MR. LEHRER: So you don't accept any responsibility for - on the -

VICE PRES. CHENEY: I don't think we caused the economic downturn.
...

Unless it comes screaming in on hijacked aircraft and blows up buildings before our eyes, our culture sucks at coping with evil. When it comes in a suit and an important title and looks like grandpa, we just don't believe it, even when it comes right up and sinks its teeth into our faces.

Cheney is evil, and expecting him to show a flicker of remorse or a glimmer of honesty is ridiculous; he says that, other than getting busted torturing a few of the wrong people, the Bush Administration performed faultlessly these last eight years, because that is exactly what he believes.

“You take the lies out of him, and he'll shrink to the size of your hat;
you take the malice out of him, and he'll disappear.”

-- Mark Twain

In five days the Bush Freak Show will pack up and leave, and millions of us will celebrate like I-don't-know-what.

But there are no term limits on Stupid, and the fulminating "Always wrong but never in doubt" 27%-ers who believe that George W. Bush was the greatest President in history will still be with us the next day.

And the day after.

And the day after that.

And for the rest of our lives.