Saturday, April 01, 2006

God’s Wrath Made Manifest


Film at 11:00

As a warning to mortals to repent of their sins, quit asking hard questions about Republican corruption, incompetence and treason, and to STFU and blindly follow the Dear Leader without quibble or qualm, God Almighty blotted out the Sun for nearly three minutes this week.

As any Dominionist American knows, such omens and presages from the Sky God are not to be taken lightly. They are a thunderbolt across the bow. A Gentile-but-not-so-genteel reminder that this was the fulfillment of modern prophecy.

For lo, did not the Dear Leader’s prophets at NASA say that the Sun shall be stricken from the Heavens as the faithless Abramoff shall be stricken from the White House Easter Egg Roll VIP List?

Was it not written in the Book of the Dear Leader’s National Weather Service that the darkness of vile night shall blot out the Glories of Heaven during the bright of day even as the evil Feingold tries to blot out the Dear Leader’s glory with the dark instrumentality of censure? And at the moment that all seems lost, the Shadow shall pass from the face of the Sun even as the Rubberstamp Congress sweeps aside the pernicious idea of holding the Dear Leader to account for petty, mortal trangressions?

Whoa to you, oh men of Science and reason and thinkyness: these portents are not to dismissed simply because they are the “natural” result of “celestial mechanics” that in no way require the presence of the Sky God. In fact, expert theocausalist statisticians are now 141% certain it was the Harvard Study cited in this article that miffed the Primum Mobile…


From the Los Angeles Times
Largest Study of Prayer to Date Finds It Has No Power to Heal
By Denise Gellene and Thomas H. Maugh II
Times Staff Writers

March 31, 2006

The largest study yet on the therapeutic power of prayer by strangers has found that it provided no benefit to the recovery of patients who had undergone cardiac bypass surgery.

In an unexpected twist, patients who knew prayers were being said for them had more complications after surgery than those who did not know, researchers reported Thursday.

The complications were minor, and doctors surmised that they could have been caused by the increased stress on patients worried that their conditions were so bad they needed prayers.

Father Dean Marek, a Catholic priest who was involved in the research, said he wasn't surprised by the results.

"I am always a little leery about intercessory prayer," said Marek, director of chaplain services at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minn. "What we have in mind for someone else may not be what they have in mind for themselves…. It is clearly manipulative of divine action and personal choice."


"There have now been two big studies, with hundreds and hundreds of patients, that show no effect," said Dr. Harold G. Koenig, professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Duke University. "Let's move on now and direct our money somewhere else."


Thursday's study was intended to settle the matter in the most scientific manner possible. It was funded primarily by the John Templeton Foundation, a group based in Pennsylvania that encourages the study of spirituality and science. Results will be published next week in American Heart Journal.

The study was designed as a randomized and blinded trial, meaning that most patients did not know whether someone was praying for them or not. Such trials are considered the gold standard for scientific proof.

More than 1,800 patients were divided into three groups: those who were told someone was praying for them; those who were told only that someone might pray for them and got prayers; and those who were told someone might pray for them but received no prayers. About 65% of the patients said they strongly believed in the power of prayer.

Two Catholic monasteries and one Protestant group offered the prayers. They were given patients' first names and the first initial of their last names. The groups started praying the night before surgery and continued for two weeks.

All members of the prayer groups recited the same intercession, asking for "a successful surgery and a quick, healthy recovery and no complications."

Researchers said they didn't ask family members of the sick people to stop praying because it would have been unethical to do so, meaning some people received more prayers than others.

The results showed that prayers had no beneficial effect on patients' recovery 30 days after surgery. Overall, 59% of patients who knew they were being prayed for had complications, compared to 51% of the patients who did not receive prayers. The difference was not considered statistically significant.


All groups were just as likely to develop infections or die.



Bob Barth of Silent Unity, the prayer organization in Lee's Summit, Mo., that was the Protestant group involved in the study, said the results didn't shake his confidence in prayer. "People of faith don't need a prayer study to know that prayer works," he said.


Me? I believe in prayer, and in the conscious counting of blessings, but not to wheedle some Creator into getting me laid or giving me a new laptop. Prayer is for drawing a curtain around my soul and quietly asking whatever animating and vivifying powers there may be to toss a little wisdom my way, and help me find a way to shoulder my burdens without becoming a burden, or a creep, or bitter, or a Fundy.

I believe strongly that in the middle of a shitstorm a man needs to shut out the din for at least a moment and remember to say “Thanks” for being alive on Earth.

For, in my case, being born to plenty and possibilities that a thousand generations before us never even had the nerve to dream of.

For being spared the horror of being hunted like an animal in Darfur, or dying for the lies of despicable men in Iraq.

For the chance to add my tiny measure of strength to the strength and wisdom of others and bring an end to the Darfurs and the Iraqs.

For whatever I’ve got, and however fleetingly I have it, remembering to give a little hat-tip to the Universe that made it and me manifest.

None of which has anything to with the warped hate-faith that powers the bone-stupid army of the GOP.

The Christopaths that believe they don’t need no fancy book larnin’ or higher brain functions to decide what’s true…and the hucksters and demagogues who loudly tell them they’re right, praise them for not being fooled by those dirty Jews Liberal Elitists, harvest their vote, razor out their pockets, fuck up their futures, piss in their pig-ignorant faces, and laugh at them all the way to the White House.

Because as we speed through the first decade of the highly volatile and technologically-driven 21st century, it is nothing but terrifying that the Party with their little, webbed feet mashed down on the National Accelerator is slave to 11th century superstitions, and a belief in the power of prayer to drive foreign policy, deliver shiny, new bicycles and make the laws of physics lambada anywhichway Pat Robertson points them.

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

In the middle of a dream, I call your name . . .

dcnative said...

I've had it with prayer. My buddy Pat Robertson didn't have any pull upstairs this week...

-- Charles Taylor

Mister Roboto said...

In the good experiences I've had with prayer, the best outcomes were situations where the need was greatest. If these patients were going to be more or less alright all along (and yes, I have no problem at all conceding that modern medical science gets the thanks for that), then prayer in this situation seems rather superfluous. Also, if somebody's nubmer is up in the cosmic sense, then their number is just plain old up and prayer won't help much in that situation.

Mister Roboto said...

And remember, fellow driftglassians: Spring ahead before going to bed!

Anonymous said...

There was a Religious Right in Jesus's society, too. They were called the scribes and Pharisees. And on that first Good Friday, many of them could be found in Pilate's courtyard, shouting "Crucify Him!"

Of course, they only THOUGHT they had gotten rid of that troublemaking rabbi Jesus...

By the way, I've decided, at least for now, to go with a consistent nom de Web, so "Ivory Bill Woodpecker" vanishes for now, and "Kid Charlemagne" returns. Whatever name I use, I'm still an outlaw in their eyes...

Cleaning the mess up before I end up in jail, Kid Charlemagne

Anonymous said...

Kid Charlemange rides again!

"You cannot petition the Lord through prayer"

-Jim Morrison


"Be Still and know that I AM (is) God"

Blessings on your day!

Anonymous said...

I'm happy to see this study. When I was in the hospital people kept going on about the previous, flawed study that said prayer worked even if you didn't believe or know about it. People kept asking me if they could pray for me. I said that they didn't need my permission, do whatever you want. I said I was not a believer, but if it made them happy, go for it. Then I'd get whacked upside the head with "the study".

Now it seems to me that if it is supposed to work even if the person doesn't know about it, why do they need to inform me? Clearly so that I could appreciate their piety. Because I know for sure that it could hardly be to reduce my stress as I lay dying in the hospital and then have an argument about the fact that I was a shitty atheist.

And that part where the ones getting prayed for had more complications - they say in the article that 59% vs. 51% is not statistically significant (unless you are voting I guess). But I bet that extra 8% was because they knew they were getting prayed for, and it wasn't working. Their stress and disappointment led to a worse outcome.

I also had people that wanted to pray for me, but wanted to do it right in front of me, out loud. I said I didn't want to hear it, and if it was indeed being aimed at god, it ought not matter where they sat nor if it was aloud or not. Take it to the lounge.

Like I wasn't sick enough, damn.

Mister Roboto said...

Now it seems to me that if it is supposed to work even if the person doesn't know about it, why do they need to inform me?

There are some schools of thought on the matter that say it is less than entirely ethical to pray for somebody without their consent.

Deb said...

Wonderfully put. Burt Reynolds did this movie where he kept trying to kill himself and at the last moment made a bargain with God, that as soon as he was safe went the way of the Mayflower.

I never bargain with the universe and truly say thanks when the little things happen that make my life so much better in ways that I had not anticipated. And yes I do say thank you God, I just believe that I'm not the most important thing in the universe and sometimes he might have more important things to do.

Mister Roboto said...

I also had people that wanted to pray for me, but wanted to do it right in front of me, out loud.

I just had this image in my mind of muddy giving his consent to his religious friend to pray right in front of muddy, so the friend leaves the hospital rooms and then comes back with a snake in a cage and a jar of poison.

"I recently joined a hillbilly snake-church," the friend says. "Did I forget to tell you that? Wow!" :-D

Anonymous said...

"I believe in prayer, and in the conscious counting of blessings, but not to wheedle some Creator into getting me laid or giving me a new laptop. Prayer is for drawing a curtain around my soul and quietly asking whatever animating and vivifying powers there may be to toss a little wisdom my way, and help me find a way to shoulder my burdens without becoming a burden, or a creep, or bitter, or a Fundy."

A-F'n Myn brother DriftGlass,

We grow a soul like we plant and weed a vegetable garden. We struggle to help it prosper as we tend to its needs and hopefully it grows so big it sustains beyond the self. Or it goes to shit cuz 'dingdongs and twinkies' are so much tastier?
(Garbage in - Garbage out).

sigh*

Michael Bains said...

Prayer is for drawing a curtain around my soul and quietly asking whatever animating and vivifying powers there may be to toss a little wisdom my way, and help me find a way to shoulder my burdens without becoming a burden, or a creep, or bitter, or a Fundy.

RAmen

It takes a quiet forgiveness, and sometimes a little Jack Daniels, to keep it all in perspective.

RAmen

I just came in from Shake's Sis' proppin' you for the One Year. Congrats! I like your writing style.

RAmen!

{-;

Anonymous said...

Where is God? surely not amoung us. For me to believe in God, I must believe God is elsewhere. Still puzzling, why pray and give praise an worship to an evil force as God. Does God really exist, or does GOD stand for "Galactic Observational Department". Perhaps, Earth is merely an experiment by extraterrestrials to see if beings from other worlds can live together on one planet. We are constantly being visted and watched.

Anonymous said...

O ye of little faith! Don't you know that the study was Flawed because for each act of prayer the subjects didn't jumpdownturnaroundpickapeckofcotton as clearly a well-designed study should have allowed for. Any son of the sod primitive babtist preacher could tell you that. And will.

parsec

Anonymous said...

USB--can you give me sanctuary? ;)

driftglass said...

Kid Charlemagne,
We'll all be needing it soon.

parsec,
If the mountain isn't moving then clearly you ain't a'prayin' hard enough.

Zontreck,
Double up on the Phillip K. Dick and you'll be fine. God's the tower. We're the radio. 100 radios or a trillion, the signal is scrambled at the receiver's end.

MichaelBains,
Thanks.

Loveandlight,
I believe the Mormons pissed of a whole lotta folks by trying to post-mortem "save" their heathen souls.

Debra,
The Universe is too busy to worry whether of not my juice glass is full or my coworker smells like feet.
Which is what a lot of prayer comes down to.

Mister Roboto said...

The Mormons pissing people off? Now that's hard to believe! ;-)

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