Saturday, December 31, 2005

Bye bye, 2005



I know that nobody but a damned fool would go and tamper with “American Pie”. Even a little bit.

And I know this isn’t literally what happened in 2005. Not the order in which things happened, or their relative importance.

This is just my own set of Emotional Flashcards to be tucked away for future use should I ever need a vivid reminder of how it felt -- in the belly -- to be alive right here and now. A sense of how it felt to look immediately back in on that receding, centerpunching year just past and mourn it for what it might have been.

And hey, who ever said I wasn't a damned fool anyway?

So with great respect for Don McLean's original, epic poem (and fair warning that the graphic load on this means it might run slow) here's a very lightly edited version, along with my wish for a Happy and Peaceful New Year to one and all...

A long, long time ago
I can still remember how that music

used to make me smile

And I knew if I had my chance
that I could make those people dance

and maybe they'd be happy for a while…

But February made me shiver with every paper I delivered,
bad news on the door step, I couldn't take one more step,

I can't remember if I cried when I read about his widowed bride

but something touched me deep inside, the day, the music, died. So...
Bye, bye Miss American Pie
drove my Chevy to the levy

but the levy was dry

an them good ol' boys were drinkin whiskey and rye singin

We’re just gonna let it all die
We’re just gonna let it all die.
Did you write

the book of love

And do you have faith in God above,

if the bible tells you so,

Before Hate it is that you bow so low,

'Cause it's what makes the Party grow

So can you teach me how to whore like a

real pro?

Well I know that you're in love with him

cuz I saw you dancin in the gym


I know he's got a purdy mouth
But butch it up when you work the South.

He was a lonely, whinging pundit hack

with a pink neck wrapper and a missing sac
but he knew God had laid down the smack
the day, the music, died.

He started singin...
Bye, bye Miss American Pie
drove my Chevy to the levy
but the levy was dry
an them good ol' boys were drinkin whiskey and rye singin
We’re just gonna let it all die
We’re just gonna let it all die.
Now for ten years they've been in charge

Tammy Bakker meets Madame LeFarge.

But that's not how

it used to be…

When the jester sang for the king and queen

in a coat he borrowed from James Dean

And a voice that came from

you and me,

Oh and while the king was looking down,

the jester stole his thorny crown


The courtroom was adjourned,

no verdict was returned,

and while Malkin morphed into Karl Marx,
the quartet practiced

in the park

And we sang dirges in the dark,

the day, the music, died.

Fox was singin'...
Bye, bye Miss American Pie
drove my Chevy to the levy
but the levy was dry
an them good ol' boys were drinkin whiskey and rye singin
We’re just gonna let it all die
We’re just gonna let it all die.
Helter Skelter in a summer swelter


Dear Leader hid out in his fallout shelter,

Polls none to high and fallin’ fast,
Its the land that falled on the grass

The players tried

for a forward pass

With the jester on the sideline

in a cast.

Now the half-time air

was sweet perfume

While the sergeants

played a marching tune


We all got up to dance

oh but we never got the chance

Oh as the players

tried to take the field

The marching band

refused to yield

Do you recall what was revealed,

the day, the music, died.
Bye, bye Miss American Pie
drove my Chevy to the levy
but the levy was dry
an them good ol' boys were drinkin whiskey and rye singin
We’re just gonna let it all die
We’re just gonna let it all die.
Oh and there they were all in one place,

The degenerates who stole the race

With no time left

to start again…

So come on, Jack be nimble, Jack be quick,

Jack Cash sat on a candle stick
because fire is the devils only friend,

Oh and as I watched him on the stage,

my hands were clinched in fists of rage,

No angel born in hell

could break that satan's spell

And as the planes climbed high

into the night

To light the

sacrificial right

I saw Satan laughing with delight,

the day, the music, died.

He was singin'...
Bye, bye Miss American Pie
drove my Chevy to the levy
but the levy was dry
an them good ol' boys were drinkin whiskey and rye singin
We’re just gonna let it all die
We’re just gonna let it all die.
I met a girl who sang the blues
and I asked her for some happy news

but she just smiled and turned away,

I went down to the sacred store
where I'd heard the music years before

but the man there said the music wouldn't play

And in the streets

the children screamed,

The lovers cried,


and the poets dreamed


But not a word was spoken,

The Free Press was all broken

And the three men I admire most,

the Father,


Son,


and the Holy Ghost,


they caught the last train for the coast, the day, the music, died,

and they were singin'...
Bye, bye Miss American Pie
drove my Chevy to the levy
but the levy was dry
an them good ol' boys were drinkin whiskey and rye singin

But we’re not gonna let it all die
No, we’re not gonna let it all die.

73 comments:

RossK said...

Not sure I've gotten as much out of Mr. McLean's masterwork since I first heard it in, what, 1971.

Thanks.

.

isabelita said...

Excellent remix of "American Pie," dg. Fine sardonic admixture of truth and hilarious horror.
How the FUCK are we going to get out of this, not just alive but with any quality left to the planet?

Anonymous said...

DG

That was over the top. Great piece of work!

EkCenTriK

Anonymous said...

Fucking Brilliant - nice close to 2005

An Angry Old Broad said...

Made me cry dude.Awesome.

Anonymous said...

Misting up here, too.

Thanks.

1988dylan said...

You worked hard on that. Hard. Presidentin is hard work, Its hard.

Heck of a job, Driftie.

Happy New Year. And God (And/or The Flying Spaghetti Monster) Bless Us All, Everyone.

SGHTF

Anonymous said...

Drift. I was holding it together...barely, as I read...

And then I got to "The father, the son, and the holy ghost."

My face flushed with a thousand miniature needles and the tears rolled.

Dammit.

Hunter...whose word-smithing I leap at, as flames of mediocrity lick at me when I sit to write.

The Son...the sons...my son, sixteen now--two years away from draft age with the incompetent-in-chief having three more years in the captain's chair. I mourn for those sons lost, and those yet to be lost--and will fight for their as yet un-lost lives--as soon as my eyes clear up.

And the Holy Ghost, my God...the Holy Ghost...whose loss I can't even speak on, so deeply he influenced me for thirty-plus years.

Beautiful work, sir...and I'm still crying.

Best,
LowerManhattanite

Anonymous said...

And a Happy New Year to you, sir.

:)

LowerManhattanite

Anonymous said...

SnarkyShark-

Just beautiful man. The picture of Cindy and Casey got me man.

Such a god-awful waste.

Expedition Sailor said...

Like LowerManhattanite, Drifty, I misted up when you hit the "father son and holy ghost" riff. I miss HST. I'll miss Pryor. I miss Frank Zappa, too. I miss anybody who ever gave the bastards a hard time and ain't around to do it anymore. I still get a lump in my throat when somebody reminds me Bill Hicks is gone, too.

We need the snark and the well-honed vitriol, though. If I have two neurons firing in my brain, there's yet irony to be twisted. The bastards lied when they said irony was dead on 9/11. They only made it harder by being more cynical than even most of us could have predicted.

Thanks for this. It hit the spot on this last night of a rollercoaster of a year.

Anonymous said...

Great stuff, Drift!

Happy New Year, and thanks for all you do. TB.

Anonymous said...

Awesome. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

Great way to say goodbye to 2005, DG. You rock!

Let's get those bastids in 2006!

jurassicpork said...

There's an old saying: Life is a comedy to those who think and a tragedy to those who feel.

Drifty apparently looks at it both ways and makes us weep and laugh along with him.

This ranks almost up there with "Oh, Which One of You is Pink?"

It's posts like this that make me wonder aloud, Why should I bother?

But plug away I do, anyway.

A nice way to kiss off what was a shitty year for me personally and a shitty year for America in general. For every Scooter Libby, there seems to be a hundred Paul Bremeers and Paul Wolfowitz's and John Boltons, thugs who somehow get around the sphere of exaction and continue to confound the Peter Principle and those who still doggedly believe in it.

Anyway, to anyone reading this, have a safe and happy New Year, and especially to the lonely genius who rattles around Castle Driftglass.

Anonymous said...

The picture of Cindy Sheehan almost got me but for some reason it wasn't until the image Thompson that the post really grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me for all it was worth. I'd be dishonest if I didn't say I almost always bristle at attempts to put rock lyrics to images and make a point. It's a fine line between pretention and eloquence.

You walked it perfectly Drifty.

So I started my New Year off with a brilliant post from Digby on bush and then this one. I should just go to bed. What's going to top the mental combination punch I just took?

Well done Drifty. Thanks.

And Happy New Year.

Mr. 618 said...

Excellent work. Poignant, and a reminder of how bleak 2005 was, and how bleak 2006 looks to be, with the "Chimpster in Charge".

Thought for the day (ever day): Impeach.

Anonymous said...

here's my two cents worth, brilliant, as usual.

Anonymous said...

i'm certain don mclean forgives you, i do. beautiful, horrible, heartbreaking just like the last year. best wishes for the new one drifty. . .

Anonymous said...

OMFG! When you said you had one or two last pieces for the year, I never imagined...

An auspicious beginning to aught six, my friend.

Cathie from Canada said...

Loved it -- brilliant and beautiful.

Anonymous said...

powerful stuff, dude. i was alternating between rage and tears until 'the father, son and holy ghost' and then i just lost it. THANK YOU and happy new year.

Anonymous said...

Bravo! Good work.

Anonymous said...

Great work, and thanks for all the acid like trips with no acid necessary. Happy New Year.
LEP

Anonymous said...

Great work, as always. I, too, teared up on "The Father, Son... (and especially) The Holy Ghost."

I hope that 2006 is the year that justice finally rolls down like mighty waters....

gravie

Anonymous said...

Very moving.

Good job, driftglass. Thank you.

Isabella di Pesto said...

Excellent.

Thank you for your art.

Anonymous said...

thanks dg - for this, and most every post.

Anonymous said...

Wow, beautiful mix of images with those lyrics. As much as I'd like to forget this year (hell, the last 5 years) it's much more important that we don't. Thank you.

QuinnLaBelle said...

sniff

Thank you so much for composing this. Doubt that Don McLean would much mind, if at all.

Takes me all the way back ...


snuffle

honk

Rex Kramer, Danger Seeker said...

Excellent stuff, but I'm a bit confused...

I checked imdb's site and, try as I might, I couldn't find "Don McLean's" name in the cast or credits for "American Pie," "American Pie 2," or "American Pie 3-D." Odd, that.

Anonymous said...

As always an excellent work driftglass.

One small observation tho. You can "levy" a fine. But, you must "levee" a river.

Best wishes to everyone for a better year ahead.

driftglass said...

Thank you one and all.

This is very, very kind of you.

lo-res day today paying the debt on the pomegranate vodka martinis (which were very yummy), while running errands broken-field style here and there and touching base with operations hq back castle driftglass erratically.

Then settled in to watch “Serenity” and the DVD player started making fluttery noises like a spastic plastic butterfly and went tits-up.

Sheesh. Why does Jesus hate 1s and 0s?

Thank you all again, most sincerely; I’ll tap out a new something once my batteries are recharged.

‘nite

Anonymous said...

Very Nice

Anonymous said...

Inspired DG, may next year be a better one for all of us.

Anonymous said...

Back in the winter of '71-'72, I lived in a house where that song played so much that I cringed every time the needle dropped and hit the first note.

As they say, if I'd only known then ... Thank you for imbueing with meaning and context that it never had before.

rivw24

RR said...

awesome, nice job!!

Anonymous said...

it sent chills down my spine. What have we in store for us in 06?

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much, this is an excellent piece of work.

Hale McKay said...

All I can say is ...Wow! That was awesome. I want to come across as a critic and use words like... poignant ... inspiring ... memorable ... a must read! I can hardly wait for your next endeavor.

Anonymous said...

...Smokin'

...Some things take a long time to age just right, and all that is old becomes new again.

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Anonymous said...

Brilliant. My sister forwarded this to me, but somehow I missed it. It was only now as I am reviewing and deleting my old mail that I saw it. The Holy Ghost reference was genius. I intend to send this to everyone I know.

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