Monday, June 27, 2005

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This from today’s Boston Globe

U.S. asks Japan to keep troops in Iraq

June 26, 2005

TOKYO --The United States has asked Japan to extend its troop deployment in Iraq beyond the scheduled expiration of the current mandate in December, a Japanese newspaper reported Sunday.

The U.S. State Department asked Japan's Foreign Ministry earlier this month to consider extending Japan's current mission, which is set to expire in December, the nationwide daily Asahi Shimbun reported.


The Japanese government had reportedly considered pulling out in December and switching to financial aid for other countries' deployments.

Defense Agency Chief Yoshinori Ono has said that the end of the year was being considered as a possible pullout date because that would coincide with the end of the U.N. mandate.

Late Saturday, Chief Cabinet Spokesman Hiroyuki Hosoda told a meeting of the ruling Liberal Democratic Party in his home state of Shimane, western Japan: "We don't decide whether to extend (deployment) because another country tells us to do so. We'll make our own decision after studying how we can best contribute to global peace."

Some 500 Japanese soldiers are based in Samawah, part of a total deployment of 1,000 military personnel on a non-combat mission to purify water and repair infrastructure.

Man, Japan’s gonna miss all the Big Fun, ‘cause baby, this party’s just getting’ started!

Gonna miss all the many, many, many star-studded “Mission Accomplished” anniversary galas that we’ll get to have in the perfect, garrisoned safety of the Green Zone.

All the cool Iraqi petro-swag.

The employee discounts at the Iraqi National Museum gift shop.

The funnel cakes at the Falluja Renaissance Faire, which are to die for.

And frankly the weekly Gitmo Torture Charades (“OK, now guess if I’m being treated as an animal, a mineral or a vegetable?”) won’t be the same without them.

And what’s this about U.N. mandate ending in December?

I didn’t know that, and I read rather a lot.

Funny, you’d think that the impending expiration of the one rationale the Administration still clings to would be front page news. Not “All Missing White Girls All The Time”-news, but news nonetheless.

Still, it appears to be true. All the papers seem to be in order.

Now it’s also true that our pet Iraqi government has applied to the U.N. Security Council to extend the US occupation of their country based on an insurgent threat that is mysteriously simultaneously “in it’s last throes” (Cheney) and may go on and on for another dozen years or more (Rummy). And sure, that application has all the delightfully transparent and shamelessly incestuous stink on it that we have come to expect from the Halliburton-Cheney-Iraq-PNAC Big Inbred Fuck and Loot Hoedown.

Still, we all know how this Administration loves the ManDate.

They’re crazy for it.

Can’t stop talking about it.

Hell, every time Cheney is caught mauling a puppy on the South Lawn he stops just long enough to grin his blood-smeared grin into the camera and says, “Last November, the American People gave us a mandate to blah blah blah…”.

Then he springs into action, and with his powerful hind legs leaps the 30 feet between him and the hapless reporter and, with a single deathblow taught to him by G. Gordon Liddy himself, he pulls the reporter’s still-beating heart from his chest.

Then bays at the moon.

Then resumes with the puppy.

Which he can do, ‘cause he’s got a mandate. A big, swingin’ mandate.

Later he'll send the reporter’s widow a ham: And no, not because of some mandate, but because that’s just the kind of thoughtful guy Dick Cheney is.

A mandate-toutin’, puppy-torturin’, reporter-evisceratin’, ham-condolence-sendin’ kinda guy.

(See, he’s got a complicated mandate…and no one understand him but his lady. )

But remember, no one crosses Cheney.

No one takes sides against the family in public with Cheney.

And no one -- but no one -- leaves Cheney, see? No one!

Which is why, if I were Japan, I’d maybe think about moving.

And changing my phone number.

And for God’s sake, if you know what’s good for you, hide your puppies.

135 comments:

Kid Charlemagne said...

The only comfort here is the knowledge that all the morons who voted for Bush and, even more, ALL THE FUCKING MORONS WHO COULD NOT BE BOTHERED TO GET OFF THEIR SORRY, LAZY ASSES AND VOTE AT ALL now have the government that they deserve. The problem there is that those of us who deserve better also are stuck with the government that the morons deserve.

From internal exile, Kid Charlemagne

Kid Charlemagne said...

I forgot to mention: the phrase "Big Fun" reminded me of one of my favorite movies, HEATHERS. "Big Fun" was the name of a fictitious band mentioned in the movie. I gotta love a movie that introduced the phrase "Fuck me gently with a chainsaw" to the language. And how hot was Winona? She can steal my stuff anytime.

A Westerberg High dropout, Kid Charlemagne

Loveandlight said...

Ah yes, Heathers, back when Christian Slater was still good-looking.

roxtar said...

See, he’s got a complicated mandate…and no one understand him but his lady.

I swear, Drifty, you crack me up.

But I prefer to think of Japan's presence in Iraq as so much spackle and rouge being troweled onto the face of that aging, syphilitic crack-whore, Coalition de la Willling. Cheney is her pimp/makeup artist/sheetrock hanger, taping the seams, slapping on buckets of mud, telling all the johns she'll love them long time.

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Walt said...

"As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron."
- H.L. Mencken

The Peter Principle in action.

US Blues said...

Drift- you know your hitting the big-time when your regular commenters are putting up such high-caliber responses. Of course, we but follow your lead.

PS- We need photos of ham for Jen.

Loveandlight said...

Walt:

What exactly is "The Peter Principle"?

I know that the Apostle Simon-Peter is famous for having denied knowing Jesus of Nazareth "three times before the cock crowed". Does the Principle have something to do with that?

marquer said...


Later he'll send the reporter’s widow a ham: And no, not because of some mandate, but because that’s just the kind of thoughtful guy Dick Cheney is.


My goodness gracious, Drifts, the undercurrents of serendipity and synchronicity are strong ones here.

I remember being struck during the Auschwitz remembrance ceremony in January, by the appearance of Cheney, sitting in the VIP section, alone in a sea of carefully chosen dark and somber formal attire. As you all will no doubt recall, the Dick was shown to be wearing a green nylon parka, brown hiking boots, and a knit ski cap whose clearly visible logo identified it as being swag left over from a GOP staff retreat in 2001.

And I saw that, and I thought to myself, "Self, you know, other people might balk at wearing shabby casual clothes to a genocide memorial, but hey, that's just the kind of thoughtful guy Dick Cheney is."

Tanbark said...

"...big fuck and loot hoedown..."

Shit. Drift, you're priceless...

That's exACTly what it is.

And what's funny about the Japanese contingent, is that basically, they aint doing jackshit, just hunkering down. We have to protect THEM, because they're our prized coalition-of-the-willing-to-stay-in-the-coop hens.
Their only value is as...."stayers"...if they leave, it will make other "stayers" quickly want to become "leavers".
It occurs to me that the whole thing is likely to wind up like that little game they play at the big rodeos, where they get 4 guys to come out into the arena to, ostensibly, sit at a table and play cards. Then they let out one of the big brahmas, and the fun starts. Whomever's got enough hair on his ass (stupidity?) to stay seated at the table, wins a hundred bucks...Okay; I'm sure there's a hospital insurance package in there somewhere, and there should be, because I've seen the whole shittaree get airborne when one of those big fuckers plows into their little redneck tableau.
It IS funny; cowboys and chairs flying everywhere. The bull always SEEMS to be enjoying himself:

"DAAAAMN! They're just gonna sit there for me? Fuckin' A!!!"

But I digress.

That's Iraq; who's gonna be the last cowboy sitting at the table?

Tanbark said...

Marquer, I saw that too. Cheyney looked like some aging ex-jock wandering around looking for a game of pick-up basketball.

Wonder if that shot made the Tel Aviv newspapers?

Tanbark said...

And today, in Samara, in southern Iraq, police fired on a crowd of 2,000 demonstrators who were angry that they had not been given jobs in the police themselves.

7 people were wounded, said an Iraqi reporter, Mohammed Amin.

"There was no sign of Japanese troops, 550 of whom are stationed in Samawa, conducting civil reconstruction work."

Me: As is being confirmed daily, the south, including Basra, is now almost totally under the control of the Shia militias. They are enforcing stricter adherence to Muslim tenets...threatening male doctors who see female patients, the same with barbers giving fashionable western-style haircuts, etc...

It's why, with junior hammering on Blair to keep Afghanistan from falling apart, the brits want to take 5,000 troops from Iraq and move them to Afghanistan, but junior wants to INCREASE the brit levels in Iraq at the same time he raises them in Afghanistan.

As we all know, this is just pissing "good" bodies, and money, after bad.

How long 'til the mid-terms?

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